Last Monday, 29th June, I had the absolute pleasure of watching my new play Spaceboy being given a rehearsed reading in Hammersmith by Actors and Writers, London.

This was fantastic! The whole process of rehearsing on the Sunday and then having it performed it on the Monday evening was just brilliant.

Working with the professional actors and Director was really good for me, and listening to them bringing Spaceboy alive in front of me was very rewarding.

I think what pleased me most during the rehearsals was that none of the actors questioned what they were saying. There was no misunderstanding of the script, or wanting to change lines or words or anything. They said that was testament to the quality of the writing, which is a lovely thing for a writer to hear from an actor.

One bit I particularly remember was the big houses scene in which NATHAN, watching his beloved Heroes, receives a panicked phone call from a lost David. This was the first scene I wrote back in November last year, and to see it performed for the first time was magical. It looked and sounded exactly as I imagined it when writing — Amazing.

The performance on Monday evening, was electric.

I was so pleased that a number of friends had made the effort to come to London to see it. It was so good to see them.

Richard came too, which was lovely, because he never reads my work, much preferring to see it.

And so Spaceboy was unleashed on an audience of professional actors, directors, writers, and their and my friends, and I was just hoping it was going to do what I wanted.

I was doing sound from my Mac so was sat at the side, and it all went very well.

I spent a lot of time staring at the audience; looking at their postures, and the reactions on their faces. It was pleasing to see so much concentration, and no one looking at their watch!

One thing that did concern me to start off with was the amount of laughter in the first act.

I always expect some to start off with, because an audience never really knows quite what to expect from the beginning, however there was more than I had anticipated.

I have no idea how to write comedy, but clearly there were some very funny lines because the laughter wasn’t isolated, the whole audience were laughing, loudly!

Obviously Spaceboy is a serious drama, and the darker it got, the more silent the audience became as they became completely wrapped up in the play.

And boy was I pleased!

Part One, If I fall, is the story of NATHAN and his developing relationship with his next door neighbour, ANNA.

An underlying current is her sad son, 16 year old David, and when David’s friend goes missing, it has disastrous consequences.

We never actually see or hear David, (a very conscious decision on my part) but his unearthly presence is felt more and more as the play proceeds, getting uncomfortably darker and darker.

During the interval a number of people came up to me and said, “I really, really want to know what David’s done.” — And I wasn’t about to disappoint them.

Part Two, Moondust Will Cover Me, is HAYDEN’s story.

In terms of chronology, we go back to the begining again and watch and listen as HAYDEN’s relationship with his new found friend David unfolds. And all through this, as alluded to in the first part, the dark disturbed presence of David and the consequences of his actions are slowly revealed.

NATHAN was played by James Price and ANNA was played by Laura Fitzpatrick. Both were superb and completely understood their characters, adding real depth to my writing.

Interestingly, although it was the director Peter Mair’s choice in who he cast, I was pleasantly surprised to find both actors matched my expectations in terms of looks and character, so I was very pleased.

They were exactly as I had imagined.

Casting HAYDEN however was a little trickier.

He is 15, and I knew casting a fifteen year old character from a group of adult professional actors wasn’t going to be easy.

There were in fact two possibles, both in their early twenties, one of whom had successfully portrayed my teenage character JASE in my short play Room 20 last December, however I’d had a phone call from Peter a couple of weeks before the reading was due to take place.

He told me that both actors were unavailable for that day and asked if I knew anybody who could play the part.

Well I did, naturally, but had no idea if it would work out that way!

My main problem was the part itself.

HAYDEN speaks in monologue for eleven different scenes; about half an hour in total. No easy feat for any actor.

Couple this with the dark nature of the piece, and the confused struggles the character has with his sexual orientation, (which he openly talks about since the monologues are mainly his thoughts) and I was beginning to wonder if the person I had in mind to play HAYDEN would be up for it.

On the plus side, he was 15 and could relate easily to the teenage language in my writing; but on the minus side, I had already been told by a number of friends who had read the play previously that the character of HAYDEN was so intense that a strong adult actor would be needed to play the part and that a young looking 19/20 year would have been my best hope.

Well, I gave a copy of the script to one of the young actors at the Riverside Youth Theatre where I spend my Sundays. I explained I needed someone to play the part and asked if he could read it and let me know what he thought.

Thankfully, Tom loved it, and agreed to play HAYDEN for me!

I was thrilled! It wasn’t going to be easy for him, and I really admired his courage.

I have directed Tom, and knew he would be more than capable, but being 15 and acting a difficult part in monologues for half an hour (during which your sexually confused character explains he’s just wanked off a boy in the back of a bus) in front of an audience of professional actors in London would have been incredibly daunting for any young amateur actor.

What was so pleasing for me was Tom completely understood the writing, HAYDEN’s character, and indeed the play. And what’s more the whole confused sexual orientation thing didn’t phase him at all.

He did it, and what a fantastic performance too. One of the emails I received said:

Just wanted to say again I loved Spaceboy – you have a real talent for writing – keep up the good work! Also, Tom gave an amazing performance for one so young, which is another credit to you!

When the play was over I was invited on stage to receive feedback from the audience. A slightly nerve racking experience.

I was very quiet and slightly lost for words when thanking the cast and director for their tremendous efforts in bringing Spaceboy to life.

This was my first full length play to recieve a rehearsed reading and feedback, and I really didn’t know quite what to expect.

But I needn’t have worried. They absolutely loved it. There were many very positive comments on the high quality of the writing.

Though the first comment did however throw me a bit: An older gentleman clearly had issue with my decision to use the present continuous tense throughout the piece. He said it didn’t work and that I should rewrite it in the past tense like other monologues are.

Thankfully, there followed a rather large chorus of disapproval. Many said that the whole present continuous tense thing was one of the things that made the play so different and exciting, the very fact that the story was unfolding for the characters at the same time as the audience had pulled them into the story and held them there.

A couple friends told me later that I really couldn’t have expected better feedback. They were very pleased, as indeed was I.

I had many private comments from members in the bar afterwards, including some great ones from the cast who were being told how exciting the play had been to watch.

I also received some emails the next day too:

I have already described ‘Spaceboy’ as the most thought-provoking reading I have seen at AWL since I started attending in 2004. Not just in regard to content, but structure, and approach; almost demanding of the audience that ‘you better listen to this’.

And in relation to Part Two, and Tom’s performance:

I found the writing and the acting absolutely enthralling and, again, thought (and emotion) provoking…. How wonderful not to have 15/16 year old expression hijacked by clapped out comedians.

Naturally, I’m thrilled. My hard work on Spaceboy and its component parts If I Fall and Moondust Will Cover Me is bringing rewards.

Buoyed up by the excellent feedback, I’ve decided to take Spaceboy further.

I need to make a few minor adjustments; things I noticed during the whole process of rehearsing and the performing of Spaceboy and to take into consideration a couple of other minor points from the feedback: like it not being exactly clear what the relationship is between the different characters mentioned in the beginning – something that I can now see having read it again, and is easily rectified.

And then, well then I’m going to send it off to some London theatres dedicating to discovering new contemporary writing and wait and see what happens.

And if anything does, you’ll be the first to know, I can assure you!

–

Many, many thanks to my friends Adam, Chloe, Pete, Rianna, Jon, Alex, Clare and Viv for coming to see the show and supporting me by being there, and a huge thank you to my great friend Tom Addy for a remarkably professional performance. Well done, Tom!

• Been a long hard weekend at Silverstone. There was some motor-racing thing going on. #fb #
• same shit, different day #fb #
• According to Twitter, Michael Jackson just died of a heart attack. RIP #fb #
• wordless #fb #
• is in Hammersmith today, rehearsing Spaceboy. #fb #
• has had a brilliant weekend and 'Spaceboy' is looking great! #fb #

• Terminator 4 very good. #
• Oops. Upgraded to WordPress to 2.8 on my blog and now there's nothing there… #
• A great night at AWL. I met the director doing Spaceboy and the play has now been cast. #
• Silverstone for an 8am brief on Thursday, and loads to do before then. Ummm where do I start…. #fb #
• Blog's back! Had to update WordPress manually. #
• Bit slow today. Now looking for my earplugs. #fb #
• Just checking out the new iPhone3GS contracts with O2 (S stands for speed btw). #
• Love the idea of 'tethering' – using your iPhone as a modem for your laptop. Naturally, 02 will miss out on selling mobile broadband… #
• Hardly surprising they're gunna charge for tethering then. Don't you just love the small print. #
• Packing for Silverstone. 4 white shirts to iron. Joy. #fb #
• Found my earplugs. British Grand Prix, here I come! #fb #

A date for your diary – Monday, June 29th 2009. 7.30pm

Actors and Writers London will be performing a rehearsed reading of my play ‘Spaceboy’ in Hammersmith, London W6.

Spaceboy
by
PAFoster

Part One – ‘If I Fall’

Single, self-employed Nathan falls for his next-door neighbour, thirty something Anna Walker.

But Anna has a painful past and a troubled teenage son; and when a local lad goes missing, Nathan’s new relationship is tested to the brink.

INTERVAL

Part Two – ‘Moondust Will Cover Me’

Fifteen year old Hayden is a little confused and thinks he’s in love; and that would be fine, if his new found friend wasn’t hearing voices.

Space is limited, so please let me know if you want to come. £5 on the door.

• is back from the Ricoh in Coventry. Take That were brilliant (Well, what I saw of it!) #fb #
• Been doing some corporate hospitality. Next week it’s four days at Silverstone for the British Grand Prix. #
• Off to Bath for a couple of days… #fb #
• Bath was beautiful, now time for ‘Teechers’ then ‘Terminator4′ tonight. #fb #

• I’ll be Bach!
  #moviemisquotes #
• I love the smell of my palm in the morning!
  #moviemisquotes #
• Sheepspotting.
  #welshmovies #
• Out of the black stuff. Been a bad week. Thanks to those who know who they are. #fb #
• Night all x #
• Hi @ThisisDavina and welcome to Twitter! Don’t worry we’re all very friendly! in reply to ThisisDavina #
• Spent all afternoon and evening drafting, writing and rewriting a short four paragraph email – then decided on the delete button. #
• Sorry @alexgdowding and @LionAtDawn wouldn’t know me halo from me elbow, and as for an E3… Nonetheless, you’re both clearly excited! in reply to alexgdowding #
• Oh dear, nearly 7am and I haven’t gone to bed yet. This is not good! #fb #
• Writing today! (Well homework anyway.) #
• Yay! Mango Smoothie! #fb #
• Mousetrap. Take That. British Grand Prix.
  Terminator. Bath. Afternoon Tea. #fb #
• Anyone seen The Mousetrap? Anyone else wondering how the hell it’s lasted 57 years? Back stage tour was cool. The snow room is great! #
• Now reading The Mousetrap…. Oh dear. #
• (GILES enters up Right and stands Left of the large armchair Right.) – He did too. #
• lmao… GILES frowns, ejaculates something…. #
• A character description: “He is a slightly taller edition of Hercule Poirot, which may give a wrong impression to the audience.” lol. #
• Well they don’t light pipes or smoke cigarettes anymore…. #
• Yawn…. Mousetrap all well and good. Bit of the ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’ if you ask me, lol. #
• One of the characters is only there as an obvious red herring. Another Character serves no purpose and might as well not be there at all. #
• If you haven’t seen it and want to know what all the fuss is about (57 years of it, lol) then… #
• buy a cheap £20 ticket for the upper circle, then sit in the near empty stalls. #
• Oh and you’ll be pleased to know it wasn’t the butler. #
• Right, I’m off to bed. Coventry tomorrow for the Take That concerts! Working at the Ricoh for four days. Night x #

Time for a quick update.

I’ve had a feeling of not really being part of this world for a few months now. I was down again last week and quite badly too.

What was frustrating was the fact that the previous week, I was just able to gain a sense of normality for a few days before sliding back down again.

My current dose of medication appears to have wiped out my highly creative hypomanic phases, and left me with too many depressive episodes. Obviously, if I had to settle for one or the other I’d much rather have the hypos.

Actually, in the last few months, I’ve had very little normality. And by normal, I mean just having an ordinary life, not affected by my condition.

It can be very hard walking around in a daze, completely disconnected from the world.

And hard on others too.

And it’s when I realise it is hard on others that I get to feeling maybe it would be better if I wasn’t here. That way, my mental disorder isn’t a problem any more. For others, and of course, for me.

Sadly, being down really does cloud your judgement. You lose all sense of rational thinking. The black stuff just takes over. You end up doing things you’d rather not talk about.

But I am going talk about this.

It helps me and others to understand and deal with this condition. If I had a broken leg, everybody could see the plaster. But with a broken brain, I can only use words to convey the torture…

–

My main problem last week was my thinking negatively in a different way than usual.

And that scared me.

I’ve been down. Not hugely down, but down enough to have those all-consuming thoughts of complete and utter worthlessness; the thoughts that I know of course are not true, but they seem really fucking real when you’re depressed, I can assure you.

I’ve been trying to get back into writing for a long time. Being down a lot hasn’t helped. And during a reasonably mentally okay period over the bank holiday, I had a good idea.

During one of my sessions at my Nuffield Writers Group in Southampton, we were doing characterisation work; making up the complete life history of a fictional character.

One of the group came up with a retired woman who loved adventure. Once a month she would use her free pass, get on a bus and just see where she ended up.

She’d spend the day experiencing a new town she’d never been to before and then get on the bus home. Even took an overnight bag with her, just in case she was too far away to get back and needed to stay in a B&B.

I thought this was great.

We got on to talking about characters from different regions of the country, and with me having only lived on the Surrey/Hampshire border, most of my characters just tend to be from here too.

It was suggested that maybe I should get on a train one day and go north to nowhere in particular, like the lady on the bus, and be inspired by listening to and observing the people in the town I ended up.

And I thought this was a great idea too.

Well, over the bank holiday I decided that on the Tuesday I would buy a travelcard, go to Waterloo, stick a pin in a map of London, get on the tube or bus, and go to wherever the pin was to take me.

That way I’d be in a part of a huge multicultural city I’d never visited before. The classes and cultures would be different to my own and I could observe, listen and jot things down in my notebook.

I was really looking forward to it. The thought of being ‘lost in London’ for research purposes was very appealing.

But then on the Bank Holiday Monday, the switch switched itself again and I started going down. I was annoyed that I’d only just come back up again and was determined to carry on with my plan for Tuesday regardless of how I felt.

I was thinking also that maybe going out to London for the day would help.

How wrong I was. Tuesday morning came, and I was even worse.

And it was then that I was aware my down thinking pattern had changed: I wasn’t going to get ‘lost in London’ and discover a new place to inspire me, I had made the decision that I was going to get ‘lost in London’ with the sole intention of maybe not coming back.

It took me ages to shower and decide on what to wear. Silly things were going through my head like what clothes should I be wearing in case I was found somewhere. Should I be wearing clean underwear, or didn’t that sort of thing matter if I wasn’t coming back.

It took me two hours to shower and dress. I wouldn’t normally bother with either when I’m down. Half of me really didn’t want to go, procrastinating like hell. The other half did, and was very frustrated that I wasn’t moving quick enough.

I finally got out and caught a train from Woking; by which time I was already a nervous wreck.

I’d had a few tears when hugging Richard and leaving the house, but he was cool with it. He knew I was down and a few tears is not at all unusual at these times, as all my emotions get completely fucked and I’ll cry for no apparent reason.

Of course I was hoping he’d stop me. But he didn’t. He simply assumed that if I was going out then I was okay, since if I was really depressed I’d be upstairs in bed – ie: staying safe.

Sadly that wasn’t what my stupid brain had in mind.

On the train I wrote in my notebook:

Suicidal today. 50/50. Probs mixed episode. On way to London. Gunna get lost. Don’t know yet if I’m coming home. Help. Please.

I spent the rest of the day dealing with huge waves of the black stuff. I’d be okay for a bit, and then I’d be crying and shaking and my teeth would be chattering away as I became very tense and scared.

All the while I walked. Across Westminster Bridge, back along the Victoria Embankment to the Millennium Bridge, around the Tate Modern, and back towards Waterloo.

There I sat for ages and ages, before heading to the National Theatre where I sat on one of the huge green and rather funky AstroTurf chairs.

And all I could do was try to hide how I was feeling. The last thing I wanted was someone to notice me, because if they stopped or asked me if I was okay, I knew I would simply crack up and land in a big heap on the pavement.

And fuck knows what would have happened then.

Thankfully the hoards of people in London that warm sunny day completely ignored me, save that is for a young homeless woman in a pink sleeping back at the top of the steps by the National. I didn’t look at her – I didn’t look at anybody that day – but as I passed she simply said “Cheer up, Love”, and it was then it struck me: I must have looked pretty terrible.

I eventually found a seemingly deserted bit of concrete thoroughfare at the side of what I think must have been the Royal Festival Hall.

And there I sat, leaning against the wall in the sunshine.

By now it was probably about half five, and I’d managed to walk (very slowly) for a good few hours, and all the while fighting the very strong urge to just get on a bus and never ever come back. (At one point, walking along the Strand earlier in the day, I counted nine buses in row.)

I was now a total wreck. Plenty of people passed by on route to somewhere and it would have been quite easy for me to have slit my wrists there and then without anybody even noticing.

Not that I would ever do that, you understand. I could never do that. The pain and the blood would be far too much for me. It’s a headfuck even thinking about it.

Then two police officers walked past. On the beat I guess. And neither of them noticed me either.

It was then I actually made a decision. As they walked away I worked it out. I planned to go up to them and just say: “Help. I’m suicidal. Please take me to a safe place.”

You see, the odd thing is, there are times when the natural human survival instinct just kicks in.

But then all the stupid thoughts started rushing through my head about how it would just cause so many problems and that I’d never be able to deal with the consequences.

I then accepted it would be far less hassle for all concerned if I just got on a bus, disappeared, and then found a quite deserted place in a park somewhere in which to lie down, go to sleep, and die of hypothermia during the night.

Of course, by now I was practically screaming for help on the inside; and crying, shaking and looking a complete wreck on the outside.

And yet, still nobody noticed.

I kept looking at my phone willing it to ring with a call or vibrate with a text.

I was then about ready to suffer the consequences and just do something stupid when, thank fuck, I did get a text.

It was a text from a close friend simply saying hi and checking I was okay.

Obviously I wasn’t.

But with loads of texts and calls from this friend, listening, caring, understanding, helping, and just being there for me, two hours later I was persuaded to accept I would be much safer at home, and finally got back to Waterloo to catch a train…

–

Fuck me, what a day!

I don’t recomend it; it’s horrible.

Every minute you just want to call someone and tell them what’s happening, but you can’t ’cause when you’re like that you don’t want to put anybody out or give them cause for concern.

And all the while you’re hoping and praying that someone will think to call or text and just ask if you’re okay.

Sadly, the longer this goes on, the more your fucked up brain tells you that nobody cares anyway, so what’s the point in prolonging the agony?

You are constantly fighting yourself. And it’s a battle to the end.

There’s just no way of describing the torture of trying to think rationally when your brain and thought processes are just so completely fucked up.

Anyway, it took time to return from my hell deep inside the black stuff, but I’ve been back a few days now and, having had the support from Richard and close friends, I’m okay.

Okay that is, until the next time…

Thanks for reading.

• Monday #
• And I’m currently riding a bike with no handlebars – acoustically of course. #fb #
• Back to Hermes in Delphi. Beginning to wonder if I’ll ever get this one done, let alone the other two. #
• Attempting to cast Spaceboy – well my preferences; the director will have his own opinions. Be interesting to see if any end up the same. #
• Bit odd looking at headshots thinking ‘oh he looks like a NATHAN.’ #
• #actorartists AmAndy WarHolden!!!!!! Yeeeeees! (via @mfhorne) – inspired. #
• #3wordsaftersex Cut! And again… #
• #3wordsaftersex Was that it? #
• #3wordsaftersex Sorry, suspension’s shot. #
• #3wordsaftersex You’re her mother?! #
• just found the shuffle button on spotify #fb #
• had a period of missing the 2nd ‘o’ in ‘too’, (as in ‘also’ – was fine with ‘excessive’) but now satisfied it’s come back. Bet you are too! #
• lost in london – like the turtle on the moon #fb #
• Quiet, with diminishing flashes of the black stuff. #fb #

• Long, long weekend. RYT production weeks are always hard work and excellent excuses for sleep deprivation. Just got 18hrs so happy now! #
• tripped on the stairs – spag bol and fruit juice went flying across the landing. #fb #
• is going to Wonderful Woking this afternoon to sit in Esquires, drink peppermint and liquorice tea and get on with some bloody writing! #fb #
• Well, I’ve made it to Esquires. Little later than initially planned. #
• My large cup of peppermint and liquorice tea is so much larger than I remember it was before. Must be nearly half a pint of tea in there! #
• Right, starting with my Nuffield homework. Using a Victorian translation I’m rewriting Hermes’ opening soliloquy from ‘Ion’ by Euripides. #
• Atlas, whose brazen shoulders wear the base of heaven, the ancient home of Gods, begat of a certain Goddess Maia, which bare me, Hermes, … #
• … heaven’s messenger, to Zeus most high. – Yeah right! You can tell I’ve never studied the Greeks can’t you! #
• umm, begat, beget, baget. Obviously nothing to do with a french stick. #
• Yes, I’m procrastinating to @surreyanchoress! This ain’t easy! Ted Hughes I’m not! #
• Okay, having typed out the entire Victorian translation of this speech, I am still none the bloody wiser. I’m stuck at the first sentence! #
• Pray tell me, is Hermes the son of Zeus or Atlas? #fb #
• is thinking he might be needing a map sometime soon, but is rather hoping he won’t. #fb #
• Back to Ion. Having trouble with the Gods and the Mortals. No idea who is who! #
• Resorting to my copy of “The Faber Pocket Guide to Greek and Roman Drama” – written incidentally by my mentor, John Burgess. #
• http://tinyurl.com/pu4kgp if you’re interested. Wish I started with this in the first place! #
• - mad as we are… #fb #
• is off out for a long thinking kinda walk beside the canal. #fb #
• is back. Four hours is a long walk. Canal was nice though. #fb #
• I now have exactly the same number of Followers on Twitter as I do Fans on Facebook – 58! http://www.tinyurl.com/pafoster #fb #
• Reading Spaceboy for the first time in about a month. Funny how the missing words suddenly appear. #
• is shredding… #fb #
• … and at 5 sheets at a time, this is gunna take a while, lol. At least the iTunes Visualizer is giving me something to look at. (cmd T) #
• Oh, and i’m shredding all my business and personal paperwork from the 2002/03 tax year… incase you were wondering. #
• haha @charm_maker no, I’m not shredding my writing! Ah, there go the mobile phone bills! in reply to charm_maker #
• Done! Surprisingly therapeutic. #
• Lol! Just got a mention in Richard Madeley’s blog http://bit.ly/17Nl9q
  Thanks @RichardMadeley #fb #
• Welcome (at last) to my rather excellent friend @LionAtDawn – Follow him or be damned to a life of eternal boredom. (Check in the post Tom?) #
• Would of course help if I could spell ‘cheque’, lol. #
• Just discovered the delights of using http://www.spotify.com Thanks @LionAtDawn. #
• Night all x. Kent tomorrow, managing a restaurant near Westerham. Ironic actually since I was orginally gunna be working at West Ham FC. #fb #
• Quite in Kent. Made paper aeroplanes. Nice chat with mate Paul on the way home round the M25. Probs best part of the day. #
• Great overheard – Mother to child in the beer garden: “It’ll get stuck! They’ll have to saw the table in half to get your fingers out!” #
• Oh, and @LionAtDawn and @BetweenTwoLungs I have no idea what #blink182day is either. But guess I just contributed, lol. Could start our own? #
• Jaffa cakes… #fb #

I’ve recently been reading with interest the ‘25 Things’ notes from various friends on Facebook, and was wondering how long it would be before I was tagged and would be asked to reciprocate (wow, spelt that right first time, lol!).

Funny then that I should be tagged twice by friends from two different social networks within a few hours of each other.

So for Helen Eastwood and Alex Dowding, here’s my effort.

Mind you, this post was first started about three months ago, so I doubt you’ll even remember you did one, let alone tagged me, lol!

And if you’re one of the twenty three other fb friends I’ve tagged, then may you have fun in telling the world your twenty five fascinating facts.

Anyway, here’s the obligatory bit to cut and paste…

—
Rules:
Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I taggd you, it’s because I want to know more about you.
—

And here, in no particular order, is 25 things about me you’ve always wanted to know but were too afraid to ask…

1) I went to school and college with current cabinet member Yvette Cooper. I asked her out at a disco (she declined; probably knowing something I didn’t at the time, lol) and her mother taught me A’ Level Maths.

2) I have a recurring nightmare of the handbrake on the car failing. I am constantly rolling backwards out of control, desperately trying to avoid numerous parked vehicles.

3) I have a MENSA qualifying IQ of 155. (Cattell IIB – max 161) I took the test and joined to prove I wasn’t as “lazy and unintelligent” as my mother said I was.

4) I love my Mac – nuff said.

5) Grieg’s ‘Piano Concerto in A minor’ is my favourite piece of classical music but I doubt I will ever learn to play it. I can play ‘Fur Elise’ and ‘Chariots of Fire’ though.

6) Being bipolar (type II) means I regularly see a psychiatrist and psychologist and spent 3 days in a mental hospital when I had a mixed episode in July 2007.

7) I love books, but am very careful about reading them. I read paperbacks quickly and without damaging the spines, and I have an aversion to marking them – even with pencil.

If I buy another pair of sunglasses this summer it will be the third pair I have bought in my adult life and it will again be a pair of Raybans for about £100. Having said that, the first pair I bought 20 years ago seem to be quite popular again.

9) My mother is due to marry for the 4th time. Her 1st husband was my father, the 2nd was the 1st’s brother-in-law, the 3rd was the 2nd’s best mate and the 4th has the same name as the 1st.

10) I am ashamed to say I only get to brush my teeth about once a fortnight and am very lucky they have stayed in reasonably good health, despite my inablity to clean them.

11) There are (far too) many times when I don’t leave the house for three or four days at a time. These are generally the days when I stay in one room, sleep, and don’t answer the phone.

12) I will either die of old age or I will commit suicide. Since I am very protective of my brain, it would be somewhat ironic if I died of a brain haemorrhage.

13) I’m not superstitious.

14) I have lived with my partner Richard near Woking in Surrey for nearly 14 years. We have a parrot (who will probably out-live us both), but have never had carpet on the stairs.

15) My mental health renders me pretty much unemployable and so I’ve been self-employed (if you can call it that) for the vast majority of my adult life, and have only ever earned enough to pay income tax twice.

16) I am Sagittarian and my favourite colour is purple.

17) I keep a blog, Stephen Fry is following me on Twitter and I have my own Fan Page on Facebook.

18) In 2005 I finished writing a musical using 27 different Erasure songs. The lyrics are excellent and there’s a great story there if you get the songs in the right order. Took two years to complete it though. Watch this space.

19) I spent the majority of my fourth (somewhat solitary) year at secondary school (Year 10) writing a horror novel entitled ‘Leonsean’. It filled four and a half science exercise books.

20) I have always enjoyed being around young people. From working in various youth clubs and schools to helping out in a youth theatre. It’s amazing what you can learn from them, if only you take the time to listen.

21) I will one day have a play produced at the Royal Court, an afternoon play broadcast on Radio 4, and a musical running in the West End.

22) I finally accepted my sexual orientation when I was 22. I was 27 before I had the courage to tell anybody else, lol. I will never have children – and that really pisses me off.

23) I spent a year in America as an au-pair during which time I wrote, produced and directed what was reported in the Boston Globe to be America’s first pantomime.

24) I attempted to run away a lot when I was a teenager, but eventually gave up trying when my mother started packing my suitcases for me.

25) I am teetotal, I don’t drink alcohol at all. I did until I was 20; I prefered lager, had a particular fondness for Guinness, and avoided bitter and spirits like the plague. I have smoked five and a half cigarettes and never taken any illegal substances. (Okay, so I’m boring, lol!)

Oh well, that’s it. Your turn…